I'm Made Out Of Wax, Larry, What Are You Made Out Of ?

Lmfao, I named the blog after a song.

Yes, that's a song by A Day to Remember ( a good band btw * )\

any who, there was no sole purpose for the title. I just didn't want the title to be something sad and depressing, like my day. Which I'm going to know blog about... good luck trying to understand the reason for the day being depressing.

Okay, so last night after my last blog post, I completely broke down . Don't ask why. I'm just sensitive like that. . . . yea.
I was just full of thoughts and full of things that should not have been brought up..
that led into the next morning ....I had a bad morning and just kept thinking about the summer and whatnot. I thought I was going to be able to block it out at least until I got home or something. Nope

the complete opposite . I just started crying and shxt by second period. I couldn't stand the things I was thinking. They always told me in school that thinking was good. Not! I didn't realize how much it pains me to cry. I was just cold and it hurt my chest. It felt like nothing was in my heart. I couldn't feel my face or the tears touching it.
I have no idea what came over me. & to make it worse, someone saw me crying and decides to ask me my most hated question, 'what's wrong' I just said the usual and tried to keep my day steady and slow paced . I tried doing homework every free period because I didn't want to start crying again. there were some times during other periods when I felt like the tears where coming again. I stopped them . I can't stand the thought of Muffin worrying about me again. I'm fine, really. really. REALLY. REAALLLLLYYYY. really . . . yea no, but really ...... Alright, there's something wrong . but how in the world do you tell your best friend that you don't think you can make it alive another summer. How do you tell her that you don't think your life has a purpose anymore. How ? How do you start up a conversation about not being alive ? Just... how ..

& she keeps saying take one step at a time and the right time will come when I'm happy but that time will come too soon and I'll just be gone. . . . .